I drew 10,000 stick figures.
It took me 45 days, but goodness, I finally hit the milestone, and it's quite appropriate that there is no appropriate in how sudden and unexplosive it was to cross the finish line. Almost poetic.
Suffering yet another drought of art, where I had no will to learn or to draw anything really - Especially when it came to my comic projects - and where I felt no drive to even write, I was once again in that endless spiral of despair of having distinct wishes to be able to draw like so and so - to at least have some sort of finished project, to be a master of a certain fundamental. I have the ebooks, I have the youtube links, I know the grind, but I felt nothing for it, and no drive. After all, after two Loomises, what could I possibly expect from yet another art book? More dissapointment in the fact that I hadn't actually levelled up even after going through yet another gruelling process?
That's when I decided to draw a bunch of stick figures.
Absolute basic mode.
I thought to myself: I've already done 1,000 mannequins, why not bump up that number but with stick figures instead?
I thought to myself: This will be annoying, but it's the perfect balance of tedious and relaxing. I have no pressure to make masterpieces, and if I do it right, hey, maybe I can learn a little something, maybe not.
I have so much to say on this whole thing, but the main take away I've gotten from this is some modicum of pride in myself, to finally go for a goal and do it.
Am I a better artist? Have I levelled up? Was it worth it? I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that minutes and hours I usually spend screwing around or procrastinating on the internet or being bored out of my mind in bus rides has ended: My days were filled. Really filled. Even when watching something, I drew stick figures. While having a coffee in the cafe, I drew stick figures. While waiting for a bus, I drew stick figures.
My life and all its ups and downs went on as it always did. This did not suddenly revolutionize my life or change any way in how problems came at me, but I did something on the side that I can feel happy about. I always feel like I never have enough time, I always feel like my days revolve around the next problem to solve, but this was something that I could constantly keep track of.
I had really bad moments where I just stopped, I had bad days, I had good days, but I finally reached the end, and with that learnt an important mantra: Step by step, step by step.
I didn't feel like i'd lost when I just stopped drawing for one week, I just feltl like I was riding a bike again after leaving it in the garage for a while: Sure, it's a shame that I hadn't been working at it daily, but it's not something that I forgot completely.
Isn't that always the best sort of way to talk to old friends and long forgotten contacts? The ideal best friend is someone you haven't talked to in 20 years and you can just have a coffee with spontaneously. The fanfare, the stress, the pressure of OH WOW I AM DOING THIS THING AFTER A WHILE cheapens the moment, it puts pressure on you, and it makes you focus on the wrong thing.
So finishing this little challenge of mine, I am damn happy and proud, and ecstatic, but I know the shitty days shall come back, the sun and earth shall do their dance, I'll still be a noob artist, and give me 200 years a life span and I'll never be as good as Da Vinci - Objectively, not self-deprecating- But I'll keep on drawing so long as I can, I'll keep on writing.
It's unfortunate that I haven't found a fellow artist willing to do such silly challenges yet, so I've also learned the bitter lesson that one can only drive themselves to draw in the end, but I'd love to be able to find people like me who just want to walk the road and enjoy the moments. In a way, I have given up: I don't and can't be number one, but I love the process and the road.
My two cents
Oh gawd I'm so stoked about this right now.
Listening to: Ava by Famy
Reading: Das Erwachen Der Macht
Playing: Titanfall 2
Drinking: Cheap beer